Thursday, May 19, 2011

AM I OLD?! Depends...

This will be a very short post - hey, no cheering out there in the crowd! I just wanted to make a couple of comments ON the comments from my last post, and I have one critical observation on provisions for the elderly...

First, I absolutely LOVED the comments I received on that last Weeble post. A couple of highlights:

From Beloved Amma who is on her way to Africa soon: "If you can be a weeble so can I" - Amma, I think you, uh, have to be more lumpy! But as always, you are such a good friend, always willing to go down those idiosyncratic paths with me! I'm eternally grateful!

And from Simchah, our Yoga instructor extraordinariness: "Keep wobbling. Wobbling still pumps the blood!" -- Do I have great friends or what?!

And lastly from Chasah, my Fairy God-Daughter (whom I can hear laughing as she reads that title): "It's people like you that make me look forward to growing old!"

AM I OLD?!!! The answer to that question has got to be...DEPENDS! I can hear Tara Chamley now, "Don't go there..."

Too late.

(All the older people know what I'm talking about. The younger ones probably think my "depends" indicates an intention to write an analysis pitting pros against cons on that was a test to see if you're old or not...)

There are certain things one does not pay attention to until one has to. Certain aisles at the grocery store are scarcely traversed as one has no need of the items down that aisle. Take the baby section for example. I never knew about maternity clothes, diapers, car seats, a good night's sleep, etc. until I had children. Suddenly these things were everything to me. Most of them I was able to procure. All of them, in fact, but that good night's sleep...

Now I'm blissfully past that time in my life and, wouldn't ya know, that good night's sleep still eludes me. My "babies" sleep through the night but now my bladder does not! And from what I hear that will only get worse.

And it was with that thought in mind that I detoured down a previously unchartered aisle one day. Now don't go thinking that you've got me figured out. I'm not to that point yet. I don't need assistance in between potty breaks. I was just checking into what might be on the horizon some day. I wanted to know what I'm getting into -- perhaps literally -- one day...

I'm just sayin'

SO, there I was down that aisle, the only one with brown still in her hair, and I came upon stacks and stacks of a product called Depends.

Depends? !!!! ON WHAT?!!!

When I get to that point, when I need a product such as this, do I really want one that's named "Depends" - as if it's optional whether it'll work for me or not?!! As David Dickerson, much younger but so sympathetic, suggested: we need a product named Assurance! Blessed Assurance at that!!

For those of you not acquainted with these products, I found out yesterday that they already have these. There is, indeed, a product of this nature entitled Assurance. David probably knew that and (LOL) he probably thought I knew that when he suggested it. (Why HE knew about it I'm not sure...David - be sure to leave us a comment on that. Inquiring minds DO want to know...) Up until a short while ago I have been utterly clueless as to the products of this very, I guess, important stage in one's life.

But now I know. I'll have what I need. You can depend on this: I'll sleep better tonight knowing I have the assurance I need. Well, I'll sleep better until my bladder wakes me up...


  1. Are you done yet?

    I must say that your last post here has had me LOL! I love it!

  2. Tara! We sure LOVE your quotable quotes! I'm done now...

  3. A Miracle:I don't have a comment.

  4. Loved it! You write how you talk, you can almost hear your voice and laughter as you read this.

  5. Please stop! My sides hurt from laughing, and my shirt is all wet from the tears! I suppose I must be getting old too! Uh oh...

  6. Not EVERYONE has this problem ... but I can Assure you that if it should come my way I will be able to Depend on technology and my friends to see me thorough. Just wait till you build more courage to transverse some of the other aisles at the walmart store .... it gets really scary.Have you checked out the Dr. Scrolls shoes yet? Keep writing .. you made my day . One has to learn to laugh at old age or it will kill you.

  7. Anavah! Uh, it'll kill us anyways...again, just sayin'... :-). But it is good to laugh!

  8. Dave- as long as it's your shirt that's all wet, you'll be fine...

  9. No, didn't know about the Assurance product, though I'm glad someone had the marketing sense to put that out. :)

    Alas, if you're hoping for some juicy secret from me which explains my apparent knowledge of this product line, you're out of luck. What I know is strictly from others' insights.

  10. David- you suggested Assurance not knowing it already existed?! Even more amazing! Makes our conversation all the funnier!

  11. The depends are for when we get too old to care about getting up in the middle of the night. I guess we could say it all "depends" on your point of view. As the saying goes: " Getting old means that first you forget the name then you forget the face. Then you for get to pull the zipper up then you forget to pull it down." So I guess it depends on how long the above mentioned process takes.

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  13. Loved it. It was funny but you're not old...yet.