Sunday, October 23, 2011
No Soccer, Paul...NO!
Paul has met his match. Granted, it's taken a whole team but they've managed to curtail him...
He asked the Vanderbilt staff this morning if they would let him go to his son's soccer game this afternoon, explaining that the IV pole would probably retract and fit in the car. And wouldn't ya know, they said no.
He first mentioned his intention to ask to his morning nurse whose name I won't mention so as not to incriminate her. She was very sympathetic towards Paul's plight and mentioned that his best bet for getting a yes would be Dr Greer as he has a very big heart.
Emboldened by this lovely tidbit, Paul was armed and dangerous by the time Dr Greer's team arrived for morning rounds. You see, Paul also had a trump card up his PICC-lined sleeve. He'd already seen his lab results online and noticed his Neutrophil counts (the cells that fight infection) were also high. He was ready with his case.
To Dr Greer's credit, he handled being put on the spot in front of several doctors in training with all the fineness and precision one would expect from a well experienced doctor. He in no way hemmed or hawed. Nor did he even evade an answer...he simply passed the buck...
Actually, he supported Paul's idea as to how it would be possible by explaining that they can, in fact, do this type of Chemo on an outpatient basis. He did caution as to liabilities for he and the hospital but then said they would not want to withhold his going based on that alone. He finished his sympathetic explanation with a, "But we'll have to get an OK from the nurses here. And they're probably going to squawk!"
Paul replied that he had actually already mentioned it to one of the nurses. Dr Greer asked what they said. Paul told him, "To ask Dr Greer as he's the most likely to say yes!" The room filled with laughter and Dr Greer went right from our room to the nurses main desk (next to our room) to plead our cause.
We could hear him delivering our request to Blanche, the head nurse, whom we really like a lot, and Paul actually unplugged his IV pole and was heading out the door to plead his own case when Blanche met him at the door with an ever so lovely smile and a, "I'm sorry but we can't let you do that."
Paul, grinning ear to ear, "Not even if I'm careful?"
Blanche, grinning just as much, "How do you think accidents happen? They're accidents!"
Paul, "I'll stand back from the scrimmage line and have my brother block any shots that come my direction!"
At that point, Blanche looked over at me and quipped, "He's incorrigible!" (or something like that) to which Paul responded,
"So that's a no?"
"NO!" Blanche obligingly reproved.
At this point I interjected, "Hold on! I've got to get a picture of you two!" Hence the picture at the start of this blog. The picture is obviously staged because Blanche isn't smiling and Blanche is ALWAYS smiling!
She said she told Dr Greer, "You know we can't approve that!" Dr Greer responded with, "I'm the good cop. You're the bad cop!"
So there you have it, Folks. An inside look at the masterful handling of one unorthodox zealot by obvious professionals who clearly have his best interests in mind even when he doesn't!
Here's a picture I took afterwards. Though it looks digitally altered, as if Paul's head was randomly inserted, it's not. He's on a yoga mat on the floor, nursing sciatica issues. Oh, did I mention he's got sciatica issues today and probably needs to rest as much as possible?